But Cracked's article The 5 Most Statistically Full of Shit National Stereotypes is really win, guyz. The writer says he's Pole (Polish?), which is, like, totally awesome, you know? not sure I believe him, he mentioned Captain America. I think it's Alfred pretending to be Feliks


And because I can't help myself, I'll quote my two favorite parts for you:


Nii-chan is badass (I knew that):

And not a damn thing's changed since then: France is the most underestimated military force in the world, with the third highest military spending on the planet and an estimated 300 nuclear warheads at their disposal. So basically... we might want to knock off the "coward" talk now, lest we find the impeccably-styled death squads smoking their thin cigarettes on our doorstep.



England has nice teeth (... I'm not sure I knew that)

The idea of "good" teeth differs slightly between the UK and the U.S.--most Brits simply don't find slightly crooked or off-white teeth all that unappealing. They probably fancy you a bit of a poof, actually, wasting perfectly good dosh on teeth whitening 'stead of a warm pint and a hot pigeon pasty. For all you non-British: We think they just called you a pussy, but we can't be sure (we half-suspect they make up good bit of their adorable-sounding slang on the spot).


Read the thing, it's fun.

/back to doing nothing

I'm not happy.

Remember back in 2003 when there was a heat wave in Europe and the French and Italians were dying because of it? That was because they reached 40C. Well, that's how hot it is in Rio de Janeiro this week. I wonder how Beyonce* is doing.

Actually, I don't. I'm more worried about myself. It's 35 C where I am and this is starting to get really annoying, gaiz, it is. I'm melting and I don't want to wear clothes and the only good thing about all this is that I'm drinking more water, and I kinda needed it.

You know, this is all Argentina's fault. They're supposed to send us some cold fronts or wathever and they're being totally useless and now things are complicated, because if they actually send us one it will rain, and the last thing we need now is more rain - at least here where I am - because then the dam (is that even the right word I asked google_translator and it told me to use dyke this can't be right lol) will flood and the last thing we need now is more floods.

Plus, I'm bored.



*someone said she fell on the stage. You know, back when I wanted to be a singer look, don't judge me, I also wanted to be a pilot and a ballet dancer I always worried about that... must be really embarassing... yeah that's how fricking bored I am D: 

Meme


The first five people to comment in this post get to request that I write a drabble or draw a doodle of any pairing/character of their choosing. In return, they have to post this in their journal, regardless of their ability level.


1. zulenha  (finished)
2. tamayonomura
3. julia400 
4. vasilina0946 (finished)
5. riot_of_flowers (finished)

...well, I got mine, so... yeah ^_^


I'm still bored as all hell orz

Oh, and I know I still have to finish some of my Christmas gifts, but I'm working on it, I swear <3

Give me a character from any fandom* I know at least fairly well, and I will tell you:

A) My OTP
B) The runner up
C) The anti-ship
D) My unpopular fannish opinion on said character
E) One person he/she never fell in love with, and why


Stole this from sakuratsukikage. Someone indulge me, plz. I'M REALLY BORED.


Fandons I know: Hetalia, Narnia, HP, Ouran :D

Título: O Grave Incidente da Espionagem
Rating: ... cenas fortíssimas de nudez e violência. Brinks. Mas alguns personagens tiram a roupa de vez em quando. PG, eu diria ^_^
Advertências: Qualquer semelhança com a vida real é mera coincidência (vide notas)
Personaje/Parejas: Brasil/Argentina e Peru/Chile (omg)
Sumário: Miguel é paranóico, Manuel é um stalker, Martin está com sono e Luciano é completamente inútil. E tem espionagem. E pessoas sem roupa.



Essa fic foi escrita como um presente de natal (sim, eu sei) para nossa mui cara theodorawasgood. Que não especificou personagens e situações, de modo que ganhou essa coisa esquisita aqui, com muito amor <3<3



( O Grave Incidente da Espionagem )

... mas também foi inevitável, visto que, com essa onda dos estados e talz, achei que seria cabível lolz.

Assim, para o bem de todos e felicidade geral da nação... (Erm... nem preciso dizer que esse é um post bem ofensivo, certo? E que inclusive tem um palavrão ^_^)

( piadas regionais )

Sim, claro que eu tenho o que fazer da minha vida, porque pergunta?


ETA: EU AINDA TENHO VIDA, MAS. Visto que passei um tempo pesquisando, não vejo porque o resto do mundo deveria ser poupado, LOGO...

Mapas do Brasil segundo Rio de Janeiro, Rio Grande do Sul, Goiás, Paraná, nosso estado preferido Sampa e nordestinos em geral.

(brincadeira, é que eu não achei dos estados do Nordeste. Pessoas que moram aí em cima e sabem mexer com o photoshop, essa é a missão, caso resolvam aceitá-la, porque aí dá pra incluir as diferenças entre, digamos, Ceará e PE, o que está com cara de merecer uma análise mais profunda. E ES também não tinha nenhum. Minas Gerais, por outro lado, teve a coragem de colocar um mapa de verdade com os estados certinhos, só pra pagar de mais sensato e razoável que todo mundo. Absurdo, isso XD)

Título: Pingos nos Is
Advertencias/Rating: GENDERBENT. Quase um drabble, basicamente.
Personaje/Parejas: Brasil/Argentina
Sumário:


( Luciana está preocupada demais com seus próprios problemas. Que, no caso, são bem simples. Ela quer beijar Martina, e não sabe como começar. )

That's it, Hetalia made me spend money. I just bought a book about Brazil's borders and the conflicts with Argentina and Uruguay and that thing's better be good or I'll be really, really cross. And while I was at it, I also got one about Lulu in the WW2. I'm afraid of this one, because it was written in 1975, when everything was censored and people had to praise the army to the heavens if they wanted to keep living, sooooo... I have no idea, lol. But let's see.

Now, your random fact for the day: in 2007 Neil Gaiman came to Brazil, to do... something, I don't know. I'm not really his fan. Anyway, my brother was telling me that he was in a store signing books and all and then the line got too big, but when they tried to cut it the people said they would start breaking stuff. He said that Neil made a funny post after it, and I decided to check it (the post, not the breaking stuff part. I knew this was true. We tend to do that. You know, sometimes).

Turned out there wasn't a post, at least that I could find, but he commented on the incident, yes:

Yet despite his fading voice, despite the cramp in his hand, this is a smallish turnout for Gaiman: in Brazil, he explains, 1,250 people once rolled up to a similar engagement. "After 700 of them, the shop cut the line," he relates dryly, "and the remaining 500 people explained in an enthusiastic Brazilian way that if they weren't allowed to see me they would of course have to riot and destroy the shop. And the manager enthusiastically said - Join the line! So I signed until two o'clock that morning."

... you know, I'm starting to like this guy =D


( Also, meme, because I'm bored )

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUSSIE!!

Yes I’m late, but I’m Brazilian, so that was pretty much a given <3

Anway, have a Br/Aus ficlet beta-ed by sakuratsukikage as a gift \o/


( here )

Título: Alicerces [2/2]
Advertencias/Rating: Angst em doses cavalares. Fora isso, nada. Bom, uma ou outra referência política.
Personaje/Parejas: Brasil/Argentina
Sumário: Luciano não espera que ele entenda. Só que o segure aqui vivendo mais um pouco, porque Martin, a voz dele, os olhos dele, sempre conseguiram uma reação, as vezes violenta e as vezes bem-humorada, mas alguma coisa. Luciano não sabe porque veio e a melhor razão que pode achar é que Martin é irritante, e que essa irritação o mantém vivo.



Parte 1


( Alicerces 2 )

I’M BACK!! <3<3

Just in case you’re think ‘erm, so you were away I DIDN’T NOTICE BECAUSE YOU KEPT SPAMMING US ANYWAY, YOU SEE’, well, that’s easy to explain. There was a cybercafe/lan-house thing available. But you must have noticed it I wasn’t spending the nights on-line, right? Right?

Well, anyway. Now I’m back and there’s so much to do and I need to think about my thesis thing that should be half written by now (HA!) and I also need to fix my bedroom and I need to make plans for this year because I didn’t and I’m not sure about it yet, but I’m kinda considering learning capoeira. My little sister asked it this was part of my newly found nationalism, and I said NO, it isn’t, actually, I’m just curious, that’s all. I might try learning French, too.

So, I just spent almost a month on the beach. My skin looks gorgeous and my hair is fabulous (not because of the beach. Because I spent 6 hours treating it, and I won’t even think of the money orz) and the 300000 pounds I’ll have to lose at some time this year are not exactly pretty I did nothing but sunbathe and write and read and eat brigadeiro and pizza, so I had it coming but oh well. I’M OPTIMISTIC. \o/

So. I read 6 books. I also read lots of wiki entries because I wanted plot bunnies (ask me anything about Brazil’s war with French Guiana, that was epic) and fics, so there. I also read the one hundred + pages of our new human rights program so I could understand why everyone was screaming at each other. I wrote, lemme see, three or four fics and edited some I already had and translated and what a terrible job it was orz two, soooo... not bad.

I swam. I ate churros. I ate lots of pizza. But I mentioned that already. I'm flirting with the idea of writing original stuff. I listened to The Sound of Music’s The Lonely Goatherd more times than anyone ever should wat I like it okay.

I didn’t even look at my thesis.

So, all in all, it was fun and PRODUCTIVE AND NOW I’M BACK SO HI PEOPLE, HOW ARE YOU DOING? <3<3<3<3

and I’m eating pizza. I just think this you guys should know that.



ETA: I HAS PAID ACCOUNT NAO. i also has a blue layout. i'm not sure i like it, but let's see.

Zu, tipo assim, lembra aquilo que eu disse que não queria ler ou escrever sobre? ENTÃO.


Acho que cabe avisar que eu não estou querendo dizer nada demais sobre os personagens que eu escolhi aqui. Primeiro porque teve toda aquele brainstorm de antes, e segundo porque isso não é um artigo, mas uma humilde fanfic.

Tradução: não me apedrejem, eu sou frágil e delicada. <3




Título: Sete Pecados
Advertencias/Rating: Simplificação absurda de temas complexos. Lado negro da força. Bom, vide o tema da coisa.
Personaje/Parejas: Sem pairings. Brasil, Bolívia, Argentina.
Sumário: Preguiça, Inveja, Orgulho.




( Parte 1 )

Well...

Here goes nothing.

It's the help_haiti comm. It goes like this:

Go through the posts where people have offered their skills at creating fics, art, etc. When you see an item you're interested in, reply to that comment with the amount you will donate if you are the winning bidder. If you win, you can make a donation to one of the listed charities.

I'm offering fic. I'll be very surprised if someone takes me because, well, NO ONE KNOWS ME, but oh well.

PS: I'll have the fic beta-ed before, so no need to be afraid :D

sooo... i translated it

Title: Foundations [1/?]
Pairings: Brazil/Argentina.
Rating/Warnings: ANGST. References to Malvinas and war wounds, Martin far from his best shape. But no graphic violence or anything, so... PG?
Summary: Martin looks away. Luciano is... a mystery, he thinks, another piece of that puzzle he still has to solve. But not now. Later, when he finds the strength to look at his wounds. When it stops hurting so much. When that idiot stops smiling like that, stops looking so pleased to find Martin like this, alone under a stupid tree in a stupid garden in a stupid land, too afraid of passing out to just get up and leave.




( Foundations )

ETA: Thanks to zulenha for the corrections. I love you and I hate myself orz.

Título: Alicerces[1/2]
Advertencias/Rating: H/C, referência às Malvinas, Martin num estado lamentável.
Personaje/Parejas: Brasil/Argentina
Sumário: Luciano é… um problema à parte. Outro fio naquele nó que ele precisa desatar. Mas não agora. Quando conseguir olhar os machucados. Quando a dor passar um pouco. Quando aquele imbecil não parecer tão alegre por vê-lo assim, largado debaixo duma árvore estúpida num jardim estúpido numa terra estúpida, sem forças pra levantar por puro medo de desmoronar no meio do caminho.




( Alicerces )

Título: Jogos
Advertencias/Rating: golpe militar, referências à tortura (off-screem, mas, sabe como é. Better safe than sorry).
Personaje/Parejas: Brasil/Chile (amizade, basicamente).
Sumário: É 1973, e Manuel está pensando em tudo, menos em futebol.



( Jogos )

Title: This Little Light of Mine
Rating: Free.
Pairings: Brazil/Argentina.
Warnings: FLUFF. And cold. As in, Tierra del Fuego cold. Bring your coats 8D
Summary: This is my gift for my dearsakuratsukikage, because she's sweet and generous and talented and adorable. I love you, girl, and I love the fact that you’re writing Br/Arg AND I LOVE YOU *clings*


( You know, I think someone should take the guy who decided to call this thing Land of the Fire and, I don't know, beat him to death with a Sea Lion. )

Quick update que ninguém quer saber: Tomei sol, portanto minha pele está muito mais bonita. Estou comendo sem parar, portanto não sei quanto ao resto. Depois a gente pensa 8D. E meu superirmãozinho conseguiu dar um jeito naquele laptop furreca, de modo que dá pra eu voltar a me concentrar no que é importante: PRESENTES


Retomemos, portanto, nossa programação normal :D


Título: O Sol e a Floresta
Rating: Livre.
Personaje/Parejas: Brasil/França (!!!).
Advertencias: ... nada.
Sumário: Presente de Natal para zulenha, que iluminou meus dias e me tornou uma pessoa melhor. E mais patriota. E um pouco mais obsessiva. ENFIM. \o/


( Foi, na verdade, a primeira coisa que Francis notou quando pisou na areia. O calor. Ele fechou os olhos e ergueu o rosto, sentindo os raios de sol acariciarem a face. Era como um beijo cálido, como o abraço de um amante. Ele podia se acostumar com esse lugar, sim. )

So, I’m going to the beach 8D


I’ll still be around, of course- I’m too addicted to LIVE WITHOUT YOU GUYS I LOVE YOU *sob* but my access will be limited, so yeah. Merry Christmas you all <3<3<3<3





(oh, and I’m still working on my other Christmas gifts, just so you know \o/)